See, there's one problem: You can't staple Christmas lights into a solar panel.

In response to one of the comments I received, I wanted to write a brief tidbit about "green" homes.

    This is a home that's green..                         

                        ..and this is a home that's "green."               

So which one would you want to live in?

(It's okay to say neither.)

"Green" homes are increasing in popularity because of the cost savings they offer a homeowner. I highly support a money-saving "green" home..  But only if it's aesthetically pleasing and feels like home. Option number 2 of these homes looks like the drunken result of a contemporary-style architect who suddenly decided that he was going to play with a welding torch and then paint everything the same color as his new favoritest dinner, salmon.

In other words, it's ugly.

On a similar note, Brad Pitt is hot. How do these relate? This is one of Pitt's "green" homes for the rebuilding project in New Orleans. Strangely, these homes are not nearly as popular as many people thought they would be. Why wouldn't someone want to live in a cost-efficient, energy-efficient, and practically self-sufficient home like this:

Uhh... BECAUSE IT'S UGLY.

And this is the downfall of some types of "green" homes. The concept of green cannot override the concept of home. They have to mutually co-exist. Otherwise, you're just a hot millionaire with 1 compassionate heart, 25 different kids, and about 70 ugly homes. What a rough life...

Now, on the bright side of building "green," many things that would normally go to waste can be reused to build something. The best example, by far, that I have found in support of reusing items for building materials is in this Buddhist Temple.

What's so special about the reused materials of this temple? Let's just say that the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" gains a whole lot more meaning with this place. I encourage you to read more about the Temple of beer, as proof that recycling is a worthy act: Buddhist Temple of Beer Bottles. But please, Drink Excessively. Oops, I mean, Responsibly.

(Be sure to check out the link about the source of strength for the Buddhist Temple - Heineken beer bricks: A Better Beer Bottle.)

Related Links:

For more information on why Brad Pitt's "green" homes make him a bad realtor, check out this story:

Brad Pitt's New Orleans Homes

For more information about how "green" homes do more than save a homeowner money, they inspire economic recovery, click here: Money Facts About Building Green 

I'm a bag lady and proud of it.

It occurred to me today that I completely overlook some of the little ways in which it's possible to save money. One of these ways is through reusable bags. The idea of reusable bags completely adheres to the "green" concept, but before you green-haters automatically dismiss this post, try to hear me out.

Reusable bags are handy for many reasons beyond being "green":

1) Many grocery stores offer an automatic discount at checkout if you bring your own bags. This discount applies to *each* bag. And although the discount is small, usually 3-6 cents, that little amount can add up in big savings. For example, 6 cents a bag, 2 bags per trip, 2 trips to the store per week. That amounts to about $12.48 in savings a year. Add in holidays and "Damn, I forgot the milk" additional store trips and you're looking at close to $15 in savings. That may not sound like much in the big picture, but it's $15 that you get to keep in your pocket.

(Ok, for those of you who don't care about reusable bags beyond saving money, you'll want to stop reading here. There are common sense points coming up that won't agree with people who dislike green. Although, they are kind of fun points, so if you like such, then I would suggest reading on.)

2) It is sooooooooooooo much easier to carry groceries into your home when they are all in one large bag rather than a hundred small ones. Check out my monster reusable bag:

See, it's almost as tall as the bar stool in the background! This bag is extremely handy for large shopping trips. It fits at least four 6-packs of beer and five bags of Doritos. It is very practical and it cost less than $2 to purchase. I think they were on sale, but even regular price they were only about $5. Interestingly, they are a lot larger than the ones the grocery store offers, so I would suggest buying reusable bags from places like Dick's, Kohls, and similar type stores. But they will definitely make your life easier, and you can save money by using them.

3) I wanted to especially post this today because it's Superbowl Sunday and my team, the Colts, are in it, and they're going to win. To show my support, I bought a reusable bag last year with the Colts logo on it.

I love carrying this around. Do I need to say more about the opportunity for team spirit with each shopping trip? I think the picture holds a thousand words. Oh wait, let me add two more: Go Colts!!

So, as you can see, reusable bags may have a bad rap as being "green" and good for the environment, but the truth of the matter is that they can save you money, save you hassle, and even help show your team spirit. You would be silly not to go out and buy two or three right now. (I suggest buying the Colts bag. It's blue.)

These two hold the equivalent of about 10 grocery bags worth of items.

And the best part is, I still have a free hand in which to easily open my front door.

Additional ways to save energy (aka, money)

I found a website that succinctly describes some good ways to save energy and money:

7-easiest-money-and-energy-saving-tips-at-home

I'll be blogging about some of this stuff later on, but for immediate satisfaction, I recommend browsing through this short list of easy (keyword: easy) ways to save money.

And don't worry, we won't tell your friends and neighbors that you've started living green. It'll be our little secret that you're saving money. As far as they'll know, you're still respectfully holding your position of tree-hugger hater and front-porch-light-always-on energy waster (although not really since you replaced your old bulb with a LED that saves you more than 3 times as much as you paid for the bulb).

::wink, wink::  Shhhh.....

Maybe Socrates really died from cleaning up his broken CFL lightbulb with his bare hands.

Mercury is an element - Hg, #80. (Sounds like football talk.) And it's poisonous. So if it's a known toxin, then why are people making lightbulbs out of it?

Mercury is a dangerous, albeit useful, substance that is used in many things: thermometer, barometers, and of course, CFL lightbulbs. (If you're interested, you can read more about Mercury, the element, on Wikipedia's website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercury_(element).) Due to the potential danger of the substance, many traditional items containing mercury are being made to contain other, safer, alternatives.. like alcohol in thermometers. And personally, I'd rather stick alcohol in my mouth than mercury.

Generally, this is why I'm *not* in support of CFL lightbulbs. I bought a few of these last year when I was doing home improvements to help me save energy and money. I'd heard the buzz about CFLs saving a lot more energy than a traditional lightbulbs, so I thought that was the way to go. Being the typical consumer, I did not do research about an item that was so popular, so trendy, and especially so "green." If the tree-huggers supported the use of CFLs, then these bulbs must be a good item for saving money.

Well, they are.
(Visit this website for more info on CFLs: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7431198. This is an NPR article that will tell you the pro's and con's of choosing CFLs.)

I admit that I saved a little bit of money. But at what cost?

See, I have cats. My cats are tyrants who like to climb on everything and explore everywhere. They also like to chase each other. One night, I was pleasantly awakened by the loud crash of an object falling to the ground and a couple of feisty cats fleeing for their life. They had knocked over one of my CFL lightbulb containing lamps. Unfortunately, even though I wanted to roll over and ignore the mess until morning, I did not want my cats walking around in broken lightbulb pieces or trying to eat some of the pretty white new what-is-this it-looks-interesting-enough-to-chew-on stuff. So I made my groggy self get out the dustpan and sweep up the millions of pieces from the hardwood floor. That was easy enough. But luckily, a bunch of small pieces landed on the couch and I got to pick those from the cushions by hand. Well, I didn't know that they were poisonous because I'd never researched CFLs. The tree-huggers said they were okay, and even though I'm not fond of huggers, I knew through the conceptual idea of "green" that those people would not advocate something that was bad for the environment, nevertheless my own body.

Obviously, now I know that it was a bad idea to touch the broken bits of the mercury containing CFL lightbulb. I am probably brain damaged for life. (Can I use that as an excuse for my green painted room?) In fact, my brain has lost track of where I'm going with this.

Oh yes, CFL's are bad. Use LEDs instead.

LEDs will save you a lot more money than CFLs, AND they do not contain mercury. And guess what? They even make organic LEDs now, so you can tell all those tree-hugging neighbors to get off your back about leaving your front porch light on. You're saving more money with a LED left on than they are with a CFL that they frequently turn off. Besides, front porch lights are meant to be left on. How else would we show off our house bling?

(Click here for some info on organic LEDs: http://www.technologyreview.com/energy/22656/?a=f)

Currently, I am in the process of switching my bulbs to LED. Unfortunately, you cannot buy LED for every type of bulb. But I'm sure that will soon change. Until then, use CFL bulbs when LEDs are unavailable. (Just don't clean them up with your bare hands. Also, it's best to take them somewhere to be recycled rather than throwing them away. Apparently mercury is bad for fish and animals and pretty much every thing.) But both of these options save more money than a traditional lightbulb.

But wait, here's the best part: LEDs come in more forms than just typical lightbulbs!

Check out this TV: http://www.samsung.com/us/consumer/tv-video/televisions/led-tv/UN55B7100WFUZA/index.idx?pagetype=prd_detail&returnurl=

Isn't it beautiful? I want one, but I'd have to skip a whole lot of meals, and probably some drinks, in order to buy one, and I'm just not willing to do that.. yet. But if you can afford to do that.. well, you're probably not one of those people or else you wouldn't be reading a blog about saving money. But still, if you can buy a LED TV, you should. It's brighter, thinner, and saves loads of money. *And it contains no mercury.* Not to mention it'll last longer because it's made up of a bunch of little, long-lasting bulbs rather than one big bulb. It's definitely the best choice for saving money, and it's also the best option for your upcoming Superbowl party. Wife nagging you about helping in the kitchen? Put her in front of this LED TV and point out how well one can see through the white pants of those cute Colt players when they bend over. It's win-win.

Uh.. Einstein.. Can you tell me why a cold kWh costs more than a warm kWh?

So probably the biggest way you can save money is by saving energy.

And how many people did I scare off just by saying that? Using energy is associated with coal and power advocates while Saving energy is for those pesky tree-huggers. I would just like to take this moment to say that this ass-u-me is not true for everyone. I don't like coal-huggers or tree-huggers. What I do like is money. And from personal experience, I know that saving energy saves me money. And that's what I'd like to talk about.

I won't go into name-calling, but I'd just like to say that the energy company that supplies my electricity likes to spike the rates from January to March-ish. Why is this? Do the company meter-readers dislike the cold and therefore have to be compensated for braving the elements to come to my house to look at my meter? (Take a lesson from the intrepid postal workers, meter-readers!) I would be happy to take a minute out of my day to read my own meter and report it to the electric company so that they would not spike energy prices during these months. But we all know that compensating cold meter-readers is not why energy prices go up. Energy prices go up during these months because more people are using energy and therefore more profit can be made by the electric company during these months. This is what they told me last year when I called to find out why my bill almost doubled in February when I had actually used less energy (football was over so I was watching a lot less TV). I kid you not. They told me they always increase prices during times of high usage.

Honestly, this information pissed me off. I was being punished because I wanted to stay warm in my home. Since it was cold outside, the electric company decided I should pay more for using a kWh than I do in, say, May, because I was using my heating system. It didn't matter that I used less energy overall. They knew that I needed to run my heater to keep my home warm (as did everyone else) and therefore they could charge me more for a kWh because it was guaranteed to be used. Energy use = Less money for me, more money for them (who then double that money by charging me more to use the same kWh).

So after foregoing on some meals to save money on food in order to pay the electric company for their selfish and unjustified temporary raising of price, I decided that I was going to do some home improvements to help reduce my energy consumption. This was not because I wanted to "live green," in the common conception of such, but because I wanted to live IN the green (as in money). I'd prefer to buy food rather than pay the CEO of an electric company his holiday bonus that probably amounts to more than my salary for the entire year. Call me selfish, but I like being able to eat three meals a day.

So, anyway, I hope there are other anti-hugger persons who can move past the conceptual idea of "living green" and embrace the idea of "saving money" like I did. If you happen to be such, see if some of these ideas can save you money, too. (And for those of you who like the conceptual color green, you are probably already practicing most of these ideas, but if there is a new one in here that helps save you some money, then perhaps you can stop hugging trees long enough to give me a hug. People hugging is okay.. as long as no one is freely in an animal costume.)

I like money. Don't you? (But only when it's income.)

I like money. It helps me to eat, and drink, and do those things that make life meaningful. Oh wait, I already said drink. Well, money is good for many reasons. But what I've noticed is that there's a catch to this: Money is only good when it's in-coming. When it's out-going, it turns from good to goods. Goods are another word for things. Things are another word for stuff. I could on for a while so I'll just stop with things. I mean, stuff. Anyway, things and stuff are what we get with our money. This blog is about things you buy and stuff you can do to make the most out of your money. Or should I say, make your money make the most out of you. Something like that..

So I've noticed that there's this big debate about global warming going on. What does that have to do with money and things and stuff? Well, I'm almost to that point. Keep reading.

Global warming is a sham!

Global warming is really real!

The scientists say yes; the scientists say no: What are we to believe? Well.... honestly... does it even matter??

Of course it does.. to someone. Actually to everyone. But I'm getting to that, too.

The point is that global warming is not the point. Too many people focus on the excuse (Global Warming!) rather than the evidence (Wasted energy is wasting our Money!). Did you catch the keyword? Allow me to repeat: M-o-n-e-y. Did you answer yes to the first question in this blog? (It's in the title.) If not, then you might not care to read this blog. In fact, how do you even have internet access and a computer if you don't like money? Interesting. You'll have to share your secrets with me later. For those of you who do like money, let me just say one word: [insert your favorite word here].

Personally, I don't worry about whether global warming is real or not. If it is a possibility, then organizing 7 billion people to "Go Green" sounds about as promising as me getting this blog to be popular. If global warming is not potentially looming over us all, I will most likely do a happy dance and then go skiing. I like skiing.

I might have digressed, but since there's no real point (other than the one I'm about to make), I think I'm right on track. Green is not a concept, it's a color. Okay, I suppose "color" is a concept, technically speaking, so green is both conceptual and color (except to those unfortunate persons who are red-green colorblind.) Green, as both concept and color, is not everyone's favorite option. This is one reason why I'm going to repaint the walls in the room I'm currently sitting in. (What was I thinking? Wait, does thought require sobriety? Because that could explain a lot. We won't go into that now..) So I'm here as an advocate for concept and color individuality and freedom. Don't judge a room because it's green. (That's what I plan on telling potential buyers about my sober, thoughtful choice of wall coloring.) Green has become a dirty word to those who hate tree-huggers and global warming believers. Personally, I'm a little scared by people who hug trees. Why do they do it? Is it for the rough feel of bark against skin? It reminds me of people who like to dress up in animal costumes without getting paid to do so. W.t.f. ... ?

Trees and animals aside, people shouldn't be afraid of the word green. It's a color. Yes, it's a concept, too, but mostly it's a color because some people can't see green but they can still see concepts. Wait a minute.. reverse that. Yeah. So what I've noticed is that even though I can see the color green, I'd rather see the color money. And I thought maybe I'd create a blog to share the wealth (::poke to the ribs, big grin, eyebrow lift x 2::) so that other people could possibly save some money too.

So for those of you who answered YES!, or YOU'RE WEIRD AND SELFISH BUT I KIND OF LIKE YOU!, then please return to view all of the insightful, very sober ideas that I will be presenting in my blog: Money is Green.

Live Money.

Live Green. (..for the people who's favorite color that actually is. Personally, I like blue. That's the color of my other room. I did that one first. Before the beer run, I mean paint run, to the store.)